A race and a memory..

The weather has been a bit chilly recently, the dang polar vortex has made running outside downright miserable, but Sunday, Sunday we got a break. Thankfully I had signed up for the Hyannis Half Marathon last week! What a BEAUTIFUL day for a race!

Brian loves taking Panoramics..

 I kept telling myself the whole time, to just go slow, take it easy, run at training pace not race pace. I wanted to do this for fun, by myself and to see if I could just settle into a comfortable pace. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I enjoyed the scenery (I almost took out my phone to snap photos of the beach!)

The course was good, a little hilly but not nearly as bad as my training runs have been. I kept thinking about Boston, how far I've come and how I can't wait for the day I cross the start line of the marathon. I do my best thinking while running and let me tell you in 13.1 miles, you think about a LOT. I decided what I'm going to get my brother for his birthday (he turns 30 in March!!), I thought about where I want to take my parents when they come visit me in April, and I thought about what I wanted to eat for lunch!!

I

Why do I look like I'm walking??

 My time wasn't the fastest, but it certainly wasn't the slowest! I finished. And that's all that matters.

I finished!! :)

 After the race, we decided to visit Birdie. Birdie passed away on February 22nd, 2012. On February 23, 2012 Brian and I took a little bit of her, (she was cremated) and laid her to rest in the ocean in Dennis, MA. Birdie loved to travel and I figured this way she would be able to, I hope she gets to see Australia soon. 

 As a memorial, we had carved her name into the seawall, number 8F at West Dennis beach. She will forever be remembered at this spot. Its now our spot. Every time we go down the cape we stop to say hello, I tell her about what she's missed, and Sunday was no different. I cry like a baby every time I'm there, but it's nice to have a spot.

 I miss her every day and she's certainly missed a lot in the past 2 years. I try to remember that she's with me always, not just at the beach, but during my race too.  Sunday, Sunday was a good day.



 

Struggles... we all have them right?

We all know about the runners high... (see previous post for sunshine and rainbows).. But we have lows too.. Sunday was a low.. a miserable miserable low.

I'll be honest, when I woke up Sunday morning I wasn't in the mood. I was cranky, a bit sleepy, cold (our apartment can't seem to regulate itself right..) and just blahhh.

After checking facebook, email, tmz and exhausting my candy crush lives I realized it was now or never. SO, after deciding it was too cold (Seriously? Where has my Minnesotan back bone gone?!) I got dressed and ready to venture to the gym.

I had new sneakers! Totally bad idea when 15 miles is your goal but alas I'm attracted to shiny new things. I had my water! My shot bloks! My music! (Pandora is learning more and more about me everyday... <3)

Ready to Run!

And then about a mile in my toes went numb. I usually retie my laces but I was so excited to have new sneakers that I overlooked that and just threw them on. Problem Number 1. So I stopped. Retied them.

New Sneaks! Asics Gel Nimbus 15s!

Problems 2-1000; my attitude. I knew it was crummy. I knew I wasn't in the mood to run. And yet, after 6 miles and a screaming voice in my head telling me to just quit. I cried. On the treadmill. In the gym. Thank goodness no one else was there. BUT I think I would have cried anyway. I was so upset. So disappointed in myself. I sent Brian a text and told him I was done. I couldn't hack it. I'd never be a marathoner. blah blah blah. (Apparently I had forgotten all about the 13 miles from last week and all the other miles I put in this week!)

I got the BEST response from him, "It's ok to have a bad day." I don't know WHY I never thought of that. How many times have I stepped out the door to run and changed up the pace, the route or the mileage based on the day and how I felt? Suddenly because I was marathon training this wasn't ok? I knew I needed to deal with it, and move on.

And with that I went home. 9 miles short. With sore feet and a heart full of disappointment.

I spent the majority of the day disappointed in myself, I cried some more while foam rolling and stretching (seriously? what's with the crying?!??!) And even a donut, a beautiful boston kreme donut, complete with hearts on top, could barely cheer me up. Best boyfriend ever though right? me in tears = Donuts! :)

Yum!

I know now, the next day, that not completing the run isn't some weird indication of how race day is going to go and it doesn't mean I'm not a runner. If anything, these highs and lows, mean that I am.

So today, as I take my usual rest day, I'm gearing myself up for a 6 mile run tomorrow morning, but if it turns into anything less, that's ok too. Just as long as I keep taking that first step.

13 Miles...

I ran 13 miles yesterday.

I spent the majority of last week worried about it, after all... the last time I ran 13 miles was in Chicago.. with Pamela and Jocelyn. I had friends to push me, a group of amazing Team Challenge supporters and teammates, and frankly it didn't seem so bad. There would be a medal and a party after. Not so much yesterday.

To make matters worse, I should have been running the Miami Half Marathon yesterday with Team Challenge, but I wasn't. Pamela and I decided that it was for the best to bow out of Miami. Her body is not happy with her love/hate relationship with the good ole 13.1, and decided to be stubborn. She needs to get healthy, rest up and although I could have gone on to do the race alone, it just wouldn't be the same.

All of that left me to complete my 13 miles solo. Since the weather was beautiful (a tropical 40 degrees!) I bought myself a new gps watch

(Garmin Forerunner 10!!)

to tackle the miles outside. Boy was it HILLY!! My legs were SCREAMING at the end of that run, way too much elevation change for my first outdoor run in awhile.

But, its over. And I'm kind of sad to see the 13 miles go. It was a milestone for me. Training for my first half marathon it was the 8 mile run that seemed to spark something in me. Today its this last run, 13 miles. I learned a lot about myself out there. I learned that I can spend 2:30 hrs with myself and really truly enjoy it. I learned that I AM capable of running, running far, no matter the speed. I learned that this chubby runner is turning into an athlete again.

Yesterday there were no medals, no cheering section and no after run party... there was just me, my sneakers and the road. And I couldn't be happier.