Struggles... we all have them right?

We all know about the runners high... (see previous post for sunshine and rainbows).. But we have lows too.. Sunday was a low.. a miserable miserable low.

I'll be honest, when I woke up Sunday morning I wasn't in the mood. I was cranky, a bit sleepy, cold (our apartment can't seem to regulate itself right..) and just blahhh.

After checking facebook, email, tmz and exhausting my candy crush lives I realized it was now or never. SO, after deciding it was too cold (Seriously? Where has my Minnesotan back bone gone?!) I got dressed and ready to venture to the gym.

I had new sneakers! Totally bad idea when 15 miles is your goal but alas I'm attracted to shiny new things. I had my water! My shot bloks! My music! (Pandora is learning more and more about me everyday... <3)

Ready to Run!

And then about a mile in my toes went numb. I usually retie my laces but I was so excited to have new sneakers that I overlooked that and just threw them on. Problem Number 1. So I stopped. Retied them.

New Sneaks! Asics Gel Nimbus 15s!

Problems 2-1000; my attitude. I knew it was crummy. I knew I wasn't in the mood to run. And yet, after 6 miles and a screaming voice in my head telling me to just quit. I cried. On the treadmill. In the gym. Thank goodness no one else was there. BUT I think I would have cried anyway. I was so upset. So disappointed in myself. I sent Brian a text and told him I was done. I couldn't hack it. I'd never be a marathoner. blah blah blah. (Apparently I had forgotten all about the 13 miles from last week and all the other miles I put in this week!)

I got the BEST response from him, "It's ok to have a bad day." I don't know WHY I never thought of that. How many times have I stepped out the door to run and changed up the pace, the route or the mileage based on the day and how I felt? Suddenly because I was marathon training this wasn't ok? I knew I needed to deal with it, and move on.

And with that I went home. 9 miles short. With sore feet and a heart full of disappointment.

I spent the majority of the day disappointed in myself, I cried some more while foam rolling and stretching (seriously? what's with the crying?!??!) And even a donut, a beautiful boston kreme donut, complete with hearts on top, could barely cheer me up. Best boyfriend ever though right? me in tears = Donuts! :)

Yum!

I know now, the next day, that not completing the run isn't some weird indication of how race day is going to go and it doesn't mean I'm not a runner. If anything, these highs and lows, mean that I am.

So today, as I take my usual rest day, I'm gearing myself up for a 6 mile run tomorrow morning, but if it turns into anything less, that's ok too. Just as long as I keep taking that first step.